Into the storm

Last Friday we got to experience something very common for the Midwest that was definitely not on our “U.S.-bucket-list”. A tornado. Or more precisely two tornadoes were confirmed in the Omaha/Bellevue area. The College where we are staying at only sustained minor damage, but a lot of power lines and trees were down in the area. Biggest loss for us was the neighbor’s trampoline that is still nowhere to be found.  

We were out of power for two days and during that time our car battery also decided to die on us. So needless to say we had a very interesting weekend. But God is good, and God is the same. In our highs, in our lows, He loves us the same. Our circumstances do not reflect the love God has for us. He showed how much He loves us on the cross and whatever the world throws at us, He is there with us. And when disaster strikes, we have the opportunity to be the hands and feet of Jesus. We were so blessed that nothing serious happened to our place, so John spent most of the weekend helping with clean up efforts. 

Fun side note…John and I had left our sleeping kids at home and the baby monitors with our next door neighbors and spent the evening at a friend’s house. We only saw a power flicker as we were playing games in the basement and as we walked outside 2 hours later, everything was over. All the while our poor neighbor was faced with 135mph winds and a power outage.

In retrospect, I am really grateful that we missed the whole thing because I would have FREAKED OUT. Our kids slept through the whole thing and in the morning we went on a fun scavenger hunt through the corn field to find sand toys and other treasures.

But into the storm does not only describe this last weekend. We are kind of bracing ourselves for the coming weeks. We have 5 more weeks left here.  That is only 5 short weeks to get to the level of support that we need so John does not have to come back to do more support raising after we’ve gotten settled in Germany. 5 more weeks to schedule things and meet with people. 5 more weeks to get all the paperwork done, register for language school, find a Kindergarten for Elea, sign papers and have all our documents translated and so on and so on. 5 more weeks to make memories and enjoy the American way of life and food and "strobe-light-like fireflies"…yah it’s like an 80’s disco outside our house once the sun is down.  We are so grateful for you all and the friendships we got to make these last years. We are so incredibly blessed and humbled to get to go and share God’s love with others. Thank you all for keeping us in your prayers, it is very much appreciated. 

Tug of war and I love yous

This is such a weird transition time we are finding ourselves in right now.

Some days I feel like I just want to grab the kids, hop on an airplane and go.  Other days I want to settle in and stay here as long as possible. Soak it all in. The way the air smells after the rain. The familiar bird songs in the morning. The huge cloud formations and breathtaking sunsets and the amazing thunderstorms of the Midwest.

I remember the very first time I saw the milky way in the night sky and the first time I saw a firefly.

The sound of the cicadas and the warm humid air. So many memories, and so many things I wish for my kids to experience before we are moving to a different continent. 

So we are working on our "US-bucket list".

√  Mexican Food

√ Grilling S’mores

Going to a waterpark

Eating Ice cream cake

Malt Shake

Fair

Getting our nails done ( Elea, not Finley)

Catching a firefly

All the while we are also really excited to be heading to Germany.

Everyday seems like we are playing tug of war in our minds. Things that keep us here and things that pull us there. Sometimes even things that push us there and things that hold us back.

The anticipation is killing me with the dread of leaving. (if you know what I mean)

We are truly in limbo right now and it’s hard. We want to spend time with friends and family but sometimes it seems difficult because we have not been around for so long and we will be gone again soon.

I know how it is. I’ve spent plenty of time in my life being torn between two worlds. Whenever I am in the States, I miss my family in Germany and whenever I am in Germany on vacation, I miss the US and my life there.

This will be a huge step and I have to change my way of thinking. This won’t be vacation. This will be hard and tedious immigration all over again.

I am not looking forward to all the bureaucratic hullabaloo. I am not looking forward to feeling like I don’t belong, trying to find my identity again. I want to fit in, but then I also don’t. I don’t want people to look at me and automatically assume I am German. Because I am, but then I’m also not. I wish to think that over these last 9 years I have acquired some American trades or characteristics. I’ve loved living in America and I sure hope that it has become part of my personality to some extent.

I don’t want to lose that part of me.

This is a difficult transition for me. I know I should speak more German with John, so he can learn, but it is so ridiculously hard. I speak German with the kids all day long, but with John it’s different. English has always been our language. He was my teacher, my confidante, my tutor.  So much of who I am and how I talk and express myself is wrapped up in the English language. Man I love English. Some things you just cannot say or express that well in German. And the more I learned English, the more it pulled me in. Speaking English to me has always been that way. I just want more. Reading Jane Austen or listening to RelientK. I just love it.

So breaking from that with John, severing that very special tie we had with language over the years is very difficult. I know it has to be done though. I want to support him as much as possible in learning quickly, doing the very same thing for me that he did for me years ago and still is doing.

But I will always say” I love you”. I don’t think that will ever change languages.

Some days feel slow and some days feel fast. Our calendar is like this entity, looming over us and the to-do-list is long and for every day that passes I feel like we should have done more or worked harder.

Some days I say “ it is what it is and it’s all in God’s hands” and other days I frantically try to do it on my own. We are still struggling to find a work/fun balance and I guess no matter what you do and how you divvy up your time, you will always have regrets in the end.

But “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases

    his mercies never come to an end;
 they are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.”  Lamentations 3:22-23

Thank you all for being in our lives as we embark on this journey.

Please let us know if you have any questions regarding our new ministry or if you have any bucket list suggestions. 

Dandelions...

This was an eventful weekend for us. On Saturday we had a dessert presentation hosted by some friends. It was great to see some people who we had not seen in a long time and catch up. On Sunday morning we had the opportunity to share in two different Sunday School classes at the church where John grew up (Calvary Christian)

Within those classes we talked a lot about dandelions. For years the dandelion was an image used for Calvary. We talked about how we grow and mature in our faith and when the time is right…puff...God  sends us somewhere else. How amazing to think that people all over the world are preaching the gospel to the un-reached, because they didn’t stay where they grew up. At one point they left their home church and ventured out. Like a dandelion seed is blown by the wind, so the spirit of God moves people to answer the call of the great commission. Go into all the world.

So as we presented in these classes, I couldn’t help but think about Calvary as John’s home church. This is where he grew up. This is where his relationship with Jesus started, where his faith was nurtured and matured and now they get to see him go off, into a different part of the world to help others get to know Jesus and mature in their faith.

I love dandelions and I love that imagery. Elea loves to blow dandelion seeds all the time. Sometimes I want to tell her not to do it because, we all know they grow and multiply like crazy and they are hard to get rid of, and they grow everywhere. No matter how dry or hard the ground is, you can be sure there will be a dandelion somewhere. I’ve even seen them grow right through concrete.But these are exactly the qualities we want to have as believers. We don’t just want to stay in our safe little spot. We want to go out and reach the hard to reach places. We want to spread the gospel. We want to plant churches for people to get to know Christ and mature in their faith and then send them off to do the same in a different place. How amazing would it be if years down  the road John and I could see someone…puff…be blown into a different part of this world to spread the gospel.