We’ve been learning a lot lately about that word, and what
it means for our lives here as missionaries.
Last week and this, we’ve been attending the Kontaktmission
qualification course. This is a 10 day course designed for missionaries who
have just recently joined KM or are about to join. There was a lot of information and we talked about many different
things, but that word stuck with me.
Contextualization
in a nutshell means, the process of integrating into a new culture; to study and
observe it. It’s about adapting to the
new “host culture” and getting familiar with it on every level. Mainly
for the obvious purpose of being able to speak the gospel and God’s love into
people’s lives in a way that is understandable and relevant to them. But it is
indeed a process that is not only meant to make you communicate effectively,
but it is all consuming because actions speak louder than words.
There is so much to that word and it really got me thinking
about the last 9 years of my life and what contextualization had looked like
for me in the US, even though I did not know that word at the time.
I wanna say I did pretty good, blending into the American culture,
I mean I had my fair share of Café Rio,Ffrosties, and Starbucks drinks. I love
going to malls and movies and having a big drink in my hand as much as any
other average American….but did I unconsciously do things that might have
hindered deep relationships from forming, because I was not willing to completely
shed my “germanness” ? Were there things about me that made people cock their
heads or roll their eyes? I know there are things about the American culture that
still boggle my brain and make me cringe, but I just assumed that is normal for
every culture. Even living in the same country for your entire life, inevitably
there will be things other people do that you cannot agree with or see
differently….as I said, I am still trying to process and file all of that.
Now being back in Germany, I can’t help but notice a certain
hesitance in myself to completely contextualize. I almost feel that if I follow
this process of “contextualization” and completely integrate into the German culture
again, I will lose part of who I am. There is a fear that we will lose a part
of who we are as a family. I guess I am
still trying to figure out how to embrace this culture again with all its
differences, be it big or small, and to get back into the groove of being “German”.
So what about us as a family? What about John and the kids? I guess deep down I am not ready
to give up all those traditions. The things that make us who we are have been shaped
by living in the US, and by being American.
Will we open presents on Christmas
eve, or wait until the morning of the 25th? Does it matter? Will people
view us differently because of our “differences”? Will my kids lose part of
their identity, shedding all that is American? Will we become estranged to that
culture? What is this process going to look like for John? How much of who he
is and what I love about him is caught up in being American? Can he change in a
way that opens doors for relationships here and still be himself?
I sometimes catch myself not knowing what to do or say. As I
am readjusting to this culture that I have been away from for nearly 9 years, I often
get caught off guard in not being able to be german. I lost all those phrases
you use for small talk and it makes me very uncomfortable and insecure. I can’t
even tell you how many times I say “sorry” just to then realize I should have
probable said “Entschuldigung”; or how many times I forget to bring bags to the store or how many times I still look
for Quarters in my wallet. I am pretty sure the cashier at the local grocery
store thinks I am a nutcase. There are even little things to relearning the
culture such as writing the date. I cannot write the date correctly, it gets me
every time. Currently I find myself
listening to Anne of Green Gables, just because I miss the English language…
Here is the worst part of all of this for me. In order to
help John learn German quicker,I am trying, trying really hard, to speak more german
to him and it is killing me on the inside because for the last 13 years he has
been my source for speaking and writing English and it is the hardest thing to
not speak English to him. It feels completely unnatural and is weirding me out.
Old habits die hard and things that have been ingrained and
part of your everyday life are just hard to switch over. But we’ve also seen some ways we are
contextualizing that brings us closer together as a family and in embracing
these things we are forming new traditions. Celebrating St. Martin’s Day (which
falls on Elea’s birthday) with a lantern walk. Finding things to do that are different but
enjoyable. John plays hokey with a group
from the church Sunday evenings. Or experiencing Kindergarten for Elea. These
are all things that are new to us but we have found that embracing them and participating
in these helps to bring us closer to this culture.
Contextualization, I think, will be difficult and take some
time. We are slowly getting there, one day at a time. Thank you all for your support. I can’t tell
you how much I miss all of our friends in SLC and Nebraska. We are having some
busy months ahead, John will be back in SLC and the Omaha area over new years. So
catch him if you can and treat him to some Starbucks or Scooters...he is having withdrawals ;) He would love
to see you and catch up with you!
