Contextualization

We’ve been learning a lot lately about that word, and what it means for our lives here as missionaries.

Last week and this, we’ve been attending the Kontaktmission qualification course. This is a 10 day course designed for missionaries who have just recently joined KM or are about to join. There was a lot of information and we talked about many different things, but that word stuck with me.

Contextualization in a nutshell means, the process of integrating into a new culture; to study and observe it. It’s about adapting to the new “host culture” and getting familiar with it on every level. Mainly for the obvious purpose of being able to speak the gospel and God’s love into people’s lives in a way that is understandable and relevant to them. But it is indeed a process that is not only meant to make you communicate effectively, but it is all consuming because actions speak louder than words.

There is so much to that word and it really got me thinking about the last 9 years of my life and what contextualization had looked like for me in the US, even though I did not know that word at the time.

I wanna say I did pretty good, blending into the American culture, I mean I had my fair share of Café Rio,Ffrosties, and Starbucks drinks. I love going to malls and movies and having a big drink in my hand as much as any other average American….but did I unconsciously do things that might have hindered deep relationships from forming, because I was not willing to completely shed my “germanness” ? Were there things about me that made people cock their heads or roll their eyes? I know there are things about the American culture that still boggle my brain and make me cringe, but I just assumed that is normal for every culture. Even living in the same country for your entire life, inevitably there will be things other people do that you cannot agree with or see differently….as I said, I am still trying to process and file all of that.

Now being back in Germany, I can’t help but notice a certain hesitance in myself to completely contextualize. I almost feel that if I follow this process of “contextualization” and completely integrate into the German culture again, I will lose part of who I am. There is a fear that we will lose a part of who we are as a family.  I guess I am still trying to figure out how to embrace this culture again with all its differences, be it big or small, and to get back into the groove of being “German”. So what about us as a family? What about John and the kids? I guess deep down I am not ready to give up all those traditions. The things that make us who we are have been shaped by living in the US, and by being American. 

Will we open presents on Christmas eve, or wait until the morning of the 25^th? Does it matter? Will people view us differently because of our “differences”? Will my kids lose part of their identity, shedding all that is American? Will we become estranged to that culture? What is this process going to look like for John? How much of who he is and what I love about him is caught up in being American? Can he change in a way that opens doors for relationships here and still be himself?

I sometimes catch myself not knowing what to do or say. As I am readjusting to this culture that I have been away from for nearly 9 years, I often get caught off guard in not being able to be german. I lost all those phrases you use for small talk and it makes me very uncomfortable and insecure. I can’t even tell you how many times I say “sorry” just to then realize I should have probable said “Entschuldigung”; or how many times I forget to bring bags  to the store or how many times I still look for Quarters in my wallet. I am pretty sure the cashier at the local grocery store thinks I am a nutcase. There are even little things to relearning the culture such as writing the date. I cannot write the date correctly, it gets me every time.  Currently I find myself listening to Anne of Green Gables, just because I miss the English language…

Here is the worst part of all of this for me. In order to help John learn German quicker,I am trying, trying really hard, to speak more german to him and it is killing me on the inside because for the last 13 years he has been my source for speaking and writing English and it is the hardest thing to not speak English to him. It feels completely unnatural and is weirding me out.

Old habits die hard and things that have been ingrained and part of your everyday life are just hard to switch over.  But we’ve also seen some ways we are contextualizing that brings us closer together as a family and in embracing these things we are forming new traditions. Celebrating St. Martin’s Day (which falls on Elea’s birthday) with a lantern walk.  Finding things to do that are different but enjoyable.  John plays hokey with a group from the church Sunday evenings. Or experiencing Kindergarten for Elea. These are all things that are new to us but we have found that embracing them and participating in these helps to bring us closer to this culture.

Contextualization, I think, will be difficult and take some time. We are slowly getting there, one day at a time.  Thank you all for your support. I can’t tell you how much I miss all of our friends in SLC and Nebraska. We are having some busy months ahead, John will be back in SLC and the Omaha area over new years. So catch him if you can and treat him to some Starbucks or Scooters...he is having withdrawals ;) He would love to see you and catch up with you!