Lessons learned from the outback

Sometimes it hits me, quite painfully actually, that we have been here for just over a year and there are still situations where I make cultural faux-pas. I guess I assumed this would not be hard for me. I grew up in Germany, right? This should be easy. But lo and behold I suck at this. 

There are so many times when I say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing and afterwards I just cringe at my stupidity and cultural insensitivity. At our cultural assimilation class, we were told that we can expect some extra grace during this first time, since we are foreigners and might get away with a few things. But time and time again I feel like this might not apply to me since people assume I should have no problem in that field. Well, I do. So extra grace required, right here please.

I’ve started watching a show on NETFLIX. It’s from the 90’s and takes place in the Australian outback. Do I need to say more? It speaks for itself, that John refuses to watch it with me because it’s too 90’s. It’s about a cattle ranch in the outback, run by just women. One of them, the lead characters half sister, had been raised in the city, but after inheriting half of the ranch after her father’s death returned to country living. And she sucks at it. She does not know how to behave, what to say and not to say, or how to act around the animals. This gets her into quite some trouble. It’s funny of course but also tragic and quite unfair because this isn’t really her fault. She is just ignorant of how things are done in the outback. She does not know any better, no one has taught her the proper “country etiquette”. I can relate to her. It seems that whenever I get confident and think I got stuff figured out, something comes along to throw me off my game. I wish there was a pause button in everyday life. A button I could press and put everything on hold,  get an experts opinion, and then proceed with my day. Sadly there is not. There is only GRACE and FORGIVENESS and I am in need of a lot of those now a days. 

And as the show progresses, you root for her, she really makes an effort to belong, to learn from people and to step out of her comfort zone. And this is why we are here. I too will learn. I want to. I want to belong. I care about the people here, therefore I want to see the world through their eyes. This is a learning process and I know I have people in my life who cheer me on and root for me and celebrate the small victories of cultural assimilation me with.

Other than that, we are doing all right. I am sorry I have been neglecting this blog for quite some time. Life is busy and gets in the way of leisurely sitting down with a cup of tea and writing deep meaningful blog entries. So for now, this is all you get. Ramblings about the outback.

Almost family

Do you know that feeling when you finish a book, and it was so good it still keeps you under its spell? You are looking forward to dive back into the pages (or paper white screen) just to then realize that it’s all over. Finished. I totally get the whole concept of fan-fiction now. Some things are just too good to let go.

These last few weeks have been such a blur of excitement and crazy family time. So many little kids and adults trying to make it work under one roof. There was a lot of Holiday stress and always something going on. That was due to the fact that we had all 7 grandkids together in one place on some days. And the added stress of John being away for 3 weeks. It was a FUN time but it was also EXHAUSTING.

Not sharing a continent with my family for the last 9 years has not gone unnoticed even though I always thought we would just pick up where we had left off. We’ve all grown up during that time, got married and had kids. Those are some pretty major life events. We’ve all formed our own world views and outlook on things and stances on certain topics. We’ve all had to learn how to do life with or without close proximity to our family. But all of us cherish having a relationship with each other and our parents and see the value and the benefit of it.

I think I allowed myself to see these last few weeks as a complete break from reality. Something like reading a book. It was fiction. All of us living under one roof, doing life together. Especially spending time with my twin sister. Usually there is no need for us to talk, we just get each other. But just having her there, to take in that time, to just hang out and live in this close proximity just for a little while was quite special. To have my parents enjoy time with Finley and Elea, to see the bond between them form and to see them just utterly and completely delight in each other.

 I absolutely loved having that time with them. It felt like making good on some missed firsts. Like first steps, first Christmas, first birthdays, first words. Everything over the last 4 years of having kids felt like they missed out on.

 But then I also realized something big and wonderful.  During this time of being separated from family, John and I got to experience how wonderful it is to have brothers and sisters in Christ and to make friends who are like family.

 Having gotten to share our lives and kids with them is such an unforgettable, precious thing. If you have friends in your life who have cried with you and laughed with you and changed your baby’s diapers; then trust me they are family. Friends who text or stop by when you need it the most and watch your kids so you can take a shower or buy you groceries or a venti green tea frappucino on your birthday. I feel blessed to have had this time where God placed “family-like-friends” in my life. These friends who have become like family is what it’s all about. Living our lives and inviting people in to share in the joy and sadness. People who pray for you and have seen your messiness. People who scrub your sink because they love you and read a million books to your kids.   

These last three weeks of family time were wonderful, but I am also excited to be back in our little house, adding to our ever expanding family with new friends. 

Off the Map

I´ve been a little Off The Map lately so I just wanted to check in real quick. December blew by and we had so many things on our calendar, it was crazy. Elea was part of the Christmas Musical at church and it was just too cute. She loved singing and dancing and even Finley got into it, when she practiced her songs at home. We had a quiet early Christmas celebration at home on the 24th and left our house an the 25th.  Now John is in the States and I am spending this time at my parent's place. My twin sister and her kids decided to come too. Her husband is working on a project in Estonia and she did not feel like spending all of the kids' Christmas break alone at home without a car. So that was the best Christmas surprise ever !! But that also meant that everything got kind of crazy all of a sudden. You really don't get a lot done when you have 5 kids (ages 2 to 6) running around the house all day. But they are having fun! Way too much fun! It's so sweet seeing how they interact and "know" each other even though they have only seen each other in person a handful of times. So time keeps running and probably won't slow down until we are back at our little house in Wüstenrot.

I am trying to use this time to recharge and soak in having the kids and cousins and my siblings around. Sometimes it is weird because I have not lived here since 2008 and they had lives too. So we are starting to get to know each other anew is it sometimes hard and weird and needs alot of patience and tactfulness. But it is also fun and interesting to see what kind of parents we've become and how differently or similarly we handle situations. John has been in Utah now for over a week. He will be flying to Nebraska tomorrow, so if you would like to see him, contact him on facebook or via email. We miss our Papa but luckily Finley got an "air plane book" for Christmas, so every time we read it ( so about 2000 times a day) Finley reminds us that Papa flew with an airplane.

Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and New Year. We are excited for this new year and all the new things we will learn and work on, and get to be a part of. 2017 was a real rollercoaster ride and full of NEW things. Thank you all for your interest and your prayer support. We are so grateful and we love hearing from friends, knowing that we have not been forgotten yet.